Drive In, Eat Good

Went to Dan's Drive In on Saturday after Alea's game (she did great) The food was delicious and the atmosphere was whimsical. What impressed me was they knew how to make eggs benedict proper and even asked me if I wanted my egg poached soft, medium or hard--now that is what I am talking about!!

I love diners. There are usually kind waiters/waitresses, good home cooking and interesting motifs. I have passed by this one on S. High Street many times and have not had the chance to stop. Glad we did!

I told Kye to go downstairs and find his bathing suit so we can go to the Y tonight.
After a while he resurfaced from the dungeon and proclaimed,

"So......... Mom, I not a very good looker, you are way better at it--maybe you can find my suit".

I am not sure how much faith I have that he really tried. He did however find a game he wanted to play. So now he is playing tanagrams on the family room floor.

My dilemma is whether to encourage him to look harder or bask in his compliment :-).

I think he needs to give it one more try.

Personal Vision

There is a body of thought in the world called the Law of Attraction. I do not believe in it lock stock and barrel, but I believe there are some elements that ring true. One element I would describe as visioning. It is where you express your vision for the future as if it were already true.

I wrote the vision for myself on March 26, 2007 within my journal and as I turned to that page today, I realized it is the same for me now. I also recognize that even though I expressed my vision then, I did not take as many steps toward it as I would have liked. I find that I am a bit behind. Of course, there have been many wonderful moments along the way--just not there yet. So, my first action is to place my thoughts here and then take steps, small and large, toward my end goal.

Within the Law of Attraction you are coached to write your vision by expressing gratefulness as if it is already present in your life:

I am eternally grateful that

• I experience a deep, loving, fun relationship with my children where we can express true connection and love.


• I have a fulfilling career with a sense of purpose, where I use my gifts, and have esteem in my field of choice.


• I am financially stable, have extra money to play with, the ability to travel and make purchases without contributing to debt.


• I have a easy going, fun and loving relationship with an attractive man that leads to a bright and happy future.


• I feel good within my spirit, within my body and I am physically and emotionally healthy.

These are not in any particular order and in many ways I have elements of each of these in my life currently. I am grateful for each blessing. I believe we are all on a journey and have access to these blessings. I try every day to realize and live in the knowledge that happiness is present at all times.

My main goal is to make decisions that reflect and align with my goals and purpose in a consistent way so that I can fully experience this happiness. Along the way, I have forgotten my goals or have been distracted and I am sure that may happen again but then, it will just be time to hop on the path again.

To life well lived! (Imagine that I am raising my glass in a toast :-)

Danny &Annie

Watched this video that a coworker turned me on to and it is a reminder what real love is about and what is possible. Never settle.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

One of the lines in the video/interview was:

"Knowledge knowing that you can hug somone without them throwing you down the stairs saying get your hands off me. Being married is like having a color television set--you never whant to go back to black and white. "

Facebook Wisdom--Thanks Roopa!

My friend Roopa Ravi shared this on her Facebook page:

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the ones who don't.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it."

These words hit me as true and as sage advice. Let's look at each of the phrases.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. As each day passes I realize this more and more. Time is precious. Every moment I spend on regrets or negative energy I end up wasting.

So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't. I have struggled with this one at times. I have this sickness where I think I can work through issues and help difficult people realize that I am a wonderful human. I say this tongue and cheek, but there is some truth to my need to feel acceptance. As I get older and wiser, I realize that I am wonderful and I have a lot to offer this world. If a person or persons can't see the wonderfulness--I may not be their cup of tea and that is ok. It does not change the fact that I have value and worth. Only I can judge this and I choose to believe it. I also to choose to hang out with people who are capable of love and expression of said love.

Believe everything happens for a reason. One of my bosses told me that "sh*t" happens and not all things happen for a reason. This explains cancer, or a child getting hurt or numerous other things. I must admit that this rocked my boat a bit when I thought about this. How do we know when things are meant to happen and others that are just happenstance? I tend to put this thought aside and just concentrate on the belief that it is really about what we do with our circumstances. If we run into a bump in the road, do we see the gift within? Do we handle the situation with grace and love? Do we become stronger in the process? I often screw up in this department, but I strive to learn and grow with each opportunity.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. As I read these words a tear came. I am one of the most fortunate people. Grace has knocked on my door many times. I hope that I recognize when a second chance comes and that I have the courage to grab with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it. Letting go--opening up, trying something new, taking the risk--all takes bravery. It is a power/decision within us. We have the chance to become anew and more of our genuine self in the process.

God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it. Amen!

Gratitude

Reading a book about the science of gratitude. Here is a snippet:

"We have discovered that a person who experiences gratitude is able to cope more effectively with everyday stress, may show increased resilience in the face of trauma-induced stress, and may recover more quickly from illness and benefit from greater physical health. Our research has led us to conclude that experiencing gratitude leads to increased feelings of connectedness, improved relationships, and even altruism. We have also found that when people experience gratitude, they feel more loving, more forgiving, and closer to God. Gratitude, we have found, maximizes the enjoyment of the good--our enjoyment of others, of God, of our lives. Happiness is facilitated when we enjoy what we have been given, when we "want what we have.""

~ Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D

thanks!

How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier

I have come to understand that gratitude is a discipline. We have choices in each day; each interaction. We choose how we look at each and what we do with the information obtained through that analysis. Why not focus on what is going right? Why not let others know that the gift they offer matters to us? Why not move from taking things for granted to real acknowledgement?

Gratitude has a couple of parts--recognition and acknowledgement. Recognition brings about a self awareness, while acknowledgement is the expression of that knowing.

Also interesting to ponder the last sentence--enjoying what we have been given and wanting what we have.

Play Time

I had the opportunity to visit with some of Frank's friends from Hiram College. Fun stuff. A few of his friends have children and it was fun to watch them interact together. It is clear that there was a lot of love in the room and I really was impressed how they allowed the kids to express themselves through play. Witnessing this, I reflected on my own playability with my kids.

Upon reflection, I realize that I often get so caught up with "what I have to do". I sometimes even forget to play with my kids. I am not sure how this happens but it is also true that growing up I did not play much. I had a lot of responsibilities early on and worries too. So, playing has not been an organic process for me--at least not yet.

It is good to have role models who can point the way. Reminders are helpful. I suppose I may need to ask for help from my kids to guide my way--who better to ask than the mouths of babes?

I read an article on a website called The Cute Kid that had this to say about play:

"Playtime is valuable time. Children learn through play. During play children often imitate valuable adult behaviors, stretch their imagination and reinforce creativity, and feel like they have accomplished something. When you play with your child you add to these benefits by making your child feel important and valued.

As you play with your child let your child decide what to play. They usually choose an activity that they are interested in. When a child decides what to play it will keep their attention longer. It also increases the child's feelings of self-worth. Because they feel that their parent likes and is interested in the things that they do. You might get bored with the same activity but your child learns through repetition. If you are tired of it add a new dimension to the activity. Turn the tea party into cooking an entire meal. Instead of just pushing around cars build a garage and pretend to fix them. As your child gets older their interests will change as well. They might want to go outside and kick around a ball or play a game. They might want to help you cook in the kitchen or scrapbook together. Whatever your child's interests just make sure that your child chooses the activity not you."

It is interesting to think about my kid's interests. They have fun spirits and I know I can enjoy letting them take the lead, expressing themselves and all the while I can help them increase their sense of self.

This is an area of growth for me. I need to find a way to relax and set aside my to do list so I can be fully present with them. After all, what better gift can I give them but my time?

Food or Family?

Had a quick heart to heart with Kye a few days ago. He was avoiding going to bed and decided to start a deep conversation. It went a little something like this:

Kye: "Mom, what is more important work or family?"

Me: "Family of course!"

Kye: "I knew you would say that." "What about family or food and water?"

Me: "hmm" in great pondering.......

He interrupts with his own thoughts: "Well, you do need food and water or you die." hmm...."But family is important....." hmm....."You do go to a better place when you die, so I guess family is more important."

Me: "That is true." "Now it is time for bed--we can think more about this tomorrow."

Kye: "Ok, Mom. Love you."

Me: "Love you too, now go to bed!"

Internal thought as I drink my tea: Then again cheesecake is pretty compelling......nah, just kidding!

Happy people live secure in the knowledge that the activities that bring them enjoyment in the present will also lead to a fulfilling future.

~Tal Ben Shahar Ph.D.

from the book Happier

This quote hit me right between the eyes. I read it several times to get the full effect. It is so simple yet it seems like new information to my tired brain.

This book focuses on the science, philosophy and trends within the pursuit of happiness. It is based on a course that this guy teaches at Harvard.

Some other thoughts to ponder, just 16 pages into the book:

• Happiness is a continuum and not a destination.


• The real question to ask is, "How can I become happier?"


• Create rituals rather than forcing self discipline.


• Keep a gratitude journal--remember 5 things nightly about your day of which you are grateful for. Studies show that people who do this are more happy.

Swap Party!

I was at the dentist today, in anticipation of my much awaited root canal and was given a magazine to read. In the Better Homes and Gardens current issue, it suggests hosting a swap party. I think that is a lovely idea.

So, I propose we spend January going through our prospective junk (I mean treasure) and prepare for a shindig during the dead of February when it is cold and there is a lull in the action.

We can bring our items and swap for other items that are being laid aside.

Here are the rules for the swap. One rule is that once you bring an item to the swap it is no longer yours. All left over items will be donated to the Columbus Catholic Worker Free Store.

February 20, 2010 at 3:00 pm. If you are interested, let me know and I will send you along an invitation with particulars. There will be warm drinks and light refreshments provided.

Hiccup Cure--Not!

The kids and I were in the grocery store the other day and Alea said she had the hiccups. Being the good mom that I am I tried to scare her hiccups away. I tried a, "Boo" as I turned toward her looking all googly eyed.

She said, "Mom, your not scary!"

I exclaimed, "I'm not?" Looking dejected.

Kye pipes up, "Well, Mom, you are like a protector, how can you be scary?"

I like the way the kid thinks!

Challengeizzle!

Had the family over for our Christmas celebration today. We always get together after the holiday to ensure that each of us will be present. In times past we sometimes found that one of us had to be at the in laws and it would not feel quite right. So we decided to ditch the whole, "have to have Christmas exactly on December 25th" idea. It has worked out beautifully.

Today was no exception the food was great, company pleasant and we had a great time.

We tried out a new game called Quelf that I purchased for my niece Becca. Loads of fun. Also very silly and game challenges you to step outside of your comfort zone--not too much, but enough.

Whether it was adding the suffix "izzle" to every statement or pretending you are a pilot doing announcements, there was some fun in it for us all.

Whilst playing the game, I did come to a realization though. We were almost done, needed to close up shop at 7:00 and had about 9 minutes to go. It was my turn and my instructions were to point up to the sky, announce that my turn was completed and then continue to stare off "into space" until my next turn. I dutifully followed the directions on the card and several folks interacted with me and noticed my gaze was not with the board. My son Quinn was most perplexed and felt he needed to poke me and verbally challenge me to give him eye contact.

I remained stead fast. I was determined to live up to the challenge.

Then as three others took turns, I realized that a question was popping in my head. Do I stick it out --tenaciously keeping my commitment to off staring or do I decide to take a penalty and join the group in their revelry?

I decided to spend the following 4 minutes engaged in the activity rather than fulfilling the card requirement. I do not regret my decision. Others noticed I failed my task, but it was a small price to pay for I chose the path.

This silly little exercise did make me think though. How many times do I stick with something that ultimately will leave me unfulfilled? How often do I let stubbornness or determination get in the way of my true why behind? How much of my life do I live according to "the" rules or my own preconceived rules?

The simple act of taking stock and seeing choices really helped me to recognize a path rather than living blindly. Now there is something to be said for going with the flow or respecting rules. There is a time for everything. This exercise was one of just realizing that we do have choices in each situation and making them consciously can be a really good thing.

An author whom I like, Seth Godin, has a great little book that gives guidance about this very thing. The name of the book is Dip; A little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick). You can take a sneak peek here.

Now, if I can only remember to stop, reflect, and choose.........here's to consciousness!