Friday, March 19, 2010

Play Time

I had the opportunity to visit with some of Frank's friends from Hiram College. Fun stuff. A few of his friends have children and it was fun to watch them interact together. It is clear that there was a lot of love in the room and I really was impressed how they allowed the kids to express themselves through play. Witnessing this, I reflected on my own playability with my kids.

Upon reflection, I realize that I often get so caught up with "what I have to do". I sometimes even forget to play with my kids. I am not sure how this happens but it is also true that growing up I did not play much. I had a lot of responsibilities early on and worries too. So, playing has not been an organic process for me--at least not yet.

It is good to have role models who can point the way. Reminders are helpful. I suppose I may need to ask for help from my kids to guide my way--who better to ask than the mouths of babes?

I read an article on a website called The Cute Kid that had this to say about play:

"Playtime is valuable time. Children learn through play. During play children often imitate valuable adult behaviors, stretch their imagination and reinforce creativity, and feel like they have accomplished something. When you play with your child you add to these benefits by making your child feel important and valued.

As you play with your child let your child decide what to play. They usually choose an activity that they are interested in. When a child decides what to play it will keep their attention longer. It also increases the child's feelings of self-worth. Because they feel that their parent likes and is interested in the things that they do. You might get bored with the same activity but your child learns through repetition. If you are tired of it add a new dimension to the activity. Turn the tea party into cooking an entire meal. Instead of just pushing around cars build a garage and pretend to fix them. As your child gets older their interests will change as well. They might want to go outside and kick around a ball or play a game. They might want to help you cook in the kitchen or scrapbook together. Whatever your child's interests just make sure that your child chooses the activity not you."

It is interesting to think about my kid's interests. They have fun spirits and I know I can enjoy letting them take the lead, expressing themselves and all the while I can help them increase their sense of self.

This is an area of growth for me. I need to find a way to relax and set aside my to do list so I can be fully present with them. After all, what better gift can I give them but my time?

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Food or Family?


Had a quick heart to heart with Kye a few days ago. He was avoiding going to bed and decided to start a deep conversation. It went a little something like this:


Kye: "Mom, what is more important work or family?"

Me: "Family of course!"

Kye: "I knew you would say that." "What about family or food and water?"

Me: "hmm" in great pondering.......


He interrupts with his own thoughts: "Well, you do need food and water or you die." hmm...."But family is important....." hmm....."You do go to a better place when you die, so I guess family is more important."


Me: "That is true." "Now it is time for bed--we can think more about this tomorrow."

Kye: "Ok, Mom. Love you."

Me: "Love you too, now go to bed!"


Internal thought as I drink my tea: Then again cheesecake is pretty compelling......nah, just kidding!

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Happy people live secure in the knowledge that the activities that bring them enjoyment in the present will also lead to a fulfilling future.


~Tal Ben Shahar Ph.D.

from the book Happier


This quote hit me right between the eyes. I read it several times to get the full effect. It is so simple yet it seems like new information to my tired brain.


This book focuses on the science, philosophy and trends within the pursuit of happiness. It is based on a course that this guy teaches at Harvard.


Some other thoughts to ponder, just 16 pages into the book:

  • Happiness is a continuum and not a destination.

  • The real question to ask is, "How can I become happier?"

  • Create rituals rather than forcing self discipline.

  • Keep a gratitude journal--remember 5 things nightly about your day of which you are grateful for. Studies show that people who do this are more happy.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Swap Party!


I was at the dentist today, in anticipation of my much awaited root canal and was given a magazine to read. In the Better Homes and Gardens current issue, it suggests hosting a swap party. I think that is a lovely idea.


So, I propose we spend January going through our prospective junk (I mean treasure) and prepare for a shindig during the dead of February when it is cold and there is a lull in the action.
We can bring our items and swap for other items that are being laid aside.


Here are the rules for the swap. One rule is that once you bring an item to the swap it is no longer yours. All left over items will be donated to the Columbus Catholic Worker Free Store.


February 20, 2010 at 3:00 pm. If you are interested, let me know and I will send you along an invitation with particulars. There will be warm drinks and light refreshments provided.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Hiccup Cure--Not!


The kids and I were in the grocery store the other day and Alea said she had the hiccups. Being the good mom that I am I tried to scare her hiccups away. I tried a, "Boo" as I turned toward her looking all googly eyed.


She said, "Mom, your not scary!"


I exclaimed, "I'm not?" Looking dejected.


Kye pipes up, "Well, Mom, you are like a protector, how can you be scary?"


I like the way the kid thinks!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Challengeizzle!


Had the family over for our Christmas celebration today. We always get together after the holiday to ensure that each of us will be present. In times past we sometimes found that one of us had to be at the in laws and it would not feel quite right. So we decided to ditch the whole, "have to have Christmas exactly on December 25th" idea. It has worked out beautifully.
Today was no exception the food was great, company pleasant and we had a great time.
We tried out a new game called Quelf that I purchased for my niece Becca. Loads of fun. Also very silly and game challenges you to step outside of your comfort zone--not too much, but enough.
Whether it was adding the suffix "izzle" to every statement or pretending you are a pilot doing announcements, there was some fun in it for us all.

Whilst playing the game, I did come to a realization though. We were almost done, needed to close up shop at 7:00 and had about 9 minutes to go. It was my turn and my instructions were to point up to the sky, announce that my turn was completed and then continue to stare off "into space" until my next turn. I dutifully followed the directions on the card and several folks interacted with me and noticed my gaze was not with the board. My son Quinn was most perplexed and felt he needed to poke me and verbally challenge me to give him eye contact.

I remained stead fast. I was determined to live up to the challenge.

Then as three others took turns, I realized that a question was popping in my head. Do I stick it out --tenaciously keeping my commitment to off staring or do I decide to take a penalty and join the group in their revelry?
I decided to spend the following 4 minutes engaged in the activity rather than fulfilling the card requirement. I do not regret my decision. Others noticed I failed my task, but it was a small price to pay for I chose the path.

This silly little exercise did make me think though. How many times do I stick with something that ultimately will leave me unfulfilled? How often do I let stubbornness or determination get in the way of my true why behind? How much of my life do I live according to "the" rules or my own preconceived rules?
The simple act of taking stock and seeing choices really helped me to recognize a path rather than living blindly. Now there is something to be said for going with the flow or respecting rules. There is a time for everything. This exercise was one of just realizing that we do have choices in each situation and making them consciously can be a really good thing.

An author whom I like, Seth Godin, has a great little book that gives guidance about this very thing. The name of the book is Dip; A little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick). You can take a sneak peek here.

Now, if I can only remember to stop, reflect, and choose.........here's to consciousness!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Eternal Sunshine

Watched an interesting movie a couple of nights ago. With a science fiction flair the film explores a relationship between two people who are dysfunctional at best. Within the film you get a sense that relationships can be tumultuous, yet loving and fulfilling in their own way. I suppose all relationships, at least the ones that matter, take work and acceptance of what is brought to the table. We are all so horribly and beautifully imperfect. This movie does a nice job of depicting this.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Emotionally withdrawn Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) and dysfunctional free spirit Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) strike up a relationship on a Long Island Rail Road train from Montauk. They are inexplicably drawn to each other, despite their radically different personalities."

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Call to Ponder

There are seven sins in the world:

Wealth without work,
Pleasure without conscience,
Knowledge without character,
Commerce without morality,
Science without humanity,
Worship without sacrifice,
and, politics without principle.

Mahatma Gandhi

Friday, November 27, 2009

My Aching Back! and Legs, and Arms!


Worked out the day before Thanksgiving and zealously participated in the festivities. Too much I am afraid. I have not been able to climb stairs or walk normally since. Who would have thought that a gazillion lunge/squats would do such a thing?


WAKE UP CALL!


For the first time I have a window into what it would be like to be in constant pain. Aching while moving, aching while staying still. Not my idea of fun or fulfilling. So, as my witness here, I pledge to make an effort in training my body toward peak function. I want to be as mobile and flexible as possible throughout my life. I think the key is using your body in many ways, stretching, playing, walking etc.


Today I have taken things easy--enjoyed a great Thanksgiving meal, put up the tree and played games (Twister was one of them). I was grateful when I toppled over, so I could rest the bones.


Tomorrow is a new day, may it be a day of motion.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Love Priciples


I came across The Love Principles in a stack of stuff I have saved from past research. Below, I have printed this in it's entirety. I am experiencing transformation lately and these principles ring true to this process for me; thought I would share.


THE LOVE PRINCIPLES
(as received in 1970)

  • Receive all persons as beautiful exactly as they are.

  • Be the change you want to see, instead of trying to change anyone else.

  • Create your own reality consciously.

  • Provide others with opportunities to give.

  • Have no expectations, but rather abundant expectancy.

  • Problems are opportunities.

~Arleen Lorrance

Choice is a life process. In every new moment of awareness, you are free to make a new choice.

This list is a good one and I find that for some of the items I have a natural inclination (seeing beauty, opportunities to give and a positive perspective on problems) but the others hold difficulty on some level. I am going to consciously meditate on these principles this week and see where that leads me-- care to join me?