Monday, March 30, 2009

The Concept of Should

There are days when I say I should do this or that and I just get depressed. I have this theory that if you say, "I should do that," it means you are not gonna do it. This communication style nudges me into a passive place. I also use this method when I need to beat myself up -- keeping me in a guilt cycle.

I have decided not to use that word while communication with myself. Luckily, I have a lick of sense and already learned not to use it with others :-)

6 comments:

Mars Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mars Girl said...

You are so right. I spend my evenings after work attacking myself with shoulds while I passively watch tv... I think I remember a psychologist telling me once that you need to take should out of your vocabulary because it is a "guilt word." People use "should statements" to guilt you as well. You need to tune these out.

I think it's the same thing as Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no _should_." =) We all need a Yoda voice in our heads.

Louie said...

ooooh.. who posted a comment that you deleted? What was that about?

Frank said...

How about "ought"?

Mars Girl said...

Louie, I posted that comment. I deleted it because I was embarrassed that I wrote "You are so write" instead of "You are so right." But now the whole world knows, so I guess I just have to suck it up and accept that I'm a moron. ;)

tiffany said...

I do this constantly... beat myself up for things I should be doing and don't.