Hiccup Cure--Not!

The kids and I were in the grocery store the other day and Alea said she had the hiccups. Being the good mom that I am I tried to scare her hiccups away. I tried a, "Boo" as I turned toward her looking all googly eyed.

She said, "Mom, your not scary!"

I exclaimed, "I'm not?" Looking dejected.

Kye pipes up, "Well, Mom, you are like a protector, how can you be scary?"

I like the way the kid thinks!

The Devil is Gonna Get Ya

Had a chat with Alea in the car the other day. We were talking about "bad" words and when it is ok to say them. There is a particular snappy song on the radio that features the word hell a lot-- so she wanted to know the official ruling on such things. Should she sing the lyric or not?

Usually, I dole out an official answer and we may talk a bit more about it but this time, I decided to share the why behind. I basically told her that words have power-- power for positive or power for negative impact. The guideline I suggested was to evaluate whether a word brings about good feelings or negative feelings and choose accordingly. She seemed to understand.

Then we started to talk about hell. Hell is an actual concept about a place. She sat there thinking for awhile and basically said. "Mom, I think that our souls go to God and that our skin and bones go to the devil." I asked her, "Why so?" and she responded, "That would only be fair-- that way they both get something."

Thrifty Giving

My daughter Alea came up to me after RSVPing for a birthday celebration next week. The party is for her very best friend and she wanted to make plans about the gifting process. Anyone who knows Alea knows that she is a planner, takes most things into consideration and while she is at it, will help you to organize your life as well. This could be an annoying feature to her personality but somehow, she nails it in such a way that makes you want to follow her lead; it is, no matter how you look at it, the sensible thing to do. This time was no exception, however, she did pose me with a question that made me pause with furrowed brow.

She wanted to shop for said friend at the thrift store. Now a few facts would be helpful here as you ponder with me:

1. Alea loves to thrift shop. Most times she gets her own cart, peruses the isles with reckless abandon and finds herself some sweet (as she says) pieces. Joy emanates from her. And, getting a bargain makes it even sweeter. She totally gets that she can purchase way more, for way less. She is quite the shopper. She never fails to spot a "so me" item on the rack and insists that I give these things a try and truth be told she is never far off. Sometimes the sizes don't work or she picks something that doesn't suit my color scheme, but all in all, she is an asset in the shopping department.

2. OK, back to the birthday situation. Alea attends school and has many friends from New Albany (a suburb of Columbus). It is fair to say that my kids witness true wealth when they go to visit their friends from school. On the whole, they have not come home whining about what other kid's have and what we are lacking (Lord knows I am grateful for that). I also realize that wealth is a relative concept here. It is not my desire to stereotype here. I am only recognizing that there is most definitely a difference in economic class.

3. Alea would like nothing better than to share her joy of thrift shopping with her friend. She argued sensibly that her friend likes the very jeans she was donning and THEY were from the thrift store. I can follow her logic her after all, I purchase most of my clothes from the thrift store.

4. When Alea told her friend where she purchased these fine jeans she did not know what a thrift store was-- the concept was totally out of the realm of her experience.

So, I explained to Alea, under most circumstances, you don't give someone a birthday gift that is considered used, unless it is a special item from your own collection that you want to share, like a family heirloom......

In general, for a birthday celebration, you make a purchase from a traditional store or make something that is a gift from your heart.

I must admit, I have conflicting values here and a limited ability to explain this dilemma within. I would not have thought it would be hard for me to express the why behind here-- but in truth, I believe any gift given from the heart is of value-- no matter where it is purchased.

One year my sister DeeDee asked for clothing for her birthday since she was giving up her deaf interpreting gig (you mostly wear black or other plain dark colors). I asked her if she minded me shopping at the thrift store for her because I could do some real damage that way. She said she did not mind. It was so fun! I felt free to buy a few items that may be considered absolute finds or may be considered clunkers. I did not feel like I bought the farm. I know for a fact that I picked out some jeans that she wore until they became thread bare-- jeans that she probably would not have picked out for herself.

I suppose I am worried that a gift from the thrift store may appear cheap or may be unappreciated in the circles of New Albany or worse, us becoming labelled as the poor family, when really, the whole idea came from the joy of the hunt.

I did offer Alea the option to invite her friend on a shopping spree at the thrift store to share in the experience. Of course, I am about to work my last day, heading into the land of layoff, so calling it a spree may be a bit misleading. The girls may have to make selections, keep within a budget and make hard decisions about what to purchase and what to leave behind. But, even that is a wonderful lesson in life (may even make those items purchased feel more special).

Anyway, I am curious to how others may see this opportunity.

Happy Feet

Just a quick note to get in the swing of things. It has been a long time since I have posted. I suppose I have been a bit down in the dumps lately and it has effected my desire to write. I think that will change soon . As I have reflected on the recent past, I do have things to share.

This one is related to a visit at the Franklin Park Conservatory- an engaging place. As we walked from exhibit to exhibit, Alea would do a fancy footwork walk. I asked her to share it on camera and she was willing to oblige. The funny thing is that she was just doing this as a matter of course-- expressing joy in each step, playing with each step. It reminds me to seize those moments and sing, dance or whatever-- who cares who is looking. In fact, as I witness others expressing joy, I usually smile along or have a silent wish to join in or have a bit of jealousy. So watch out world, I seek my joy and plan to revel in it!!

Here is Alea and her happy feet:

Alea and the Squishy Pillow

I have this two pillow system for total sleeping pleasure. The bottom pillow is firm, skinny and gives form to this ultimate system, while the top pillow is filled with down, soft and very malleable. The top pillow is also skinny so the whole set up is not one that gives a crick in the neck.

My daughter Alea also sees the value of this system and covets this opportunity. At any given moment she will try to sneak the goods. This does put a cramp in my style and provides dilemmas. Do I put my foot down and demand for it to be returned to the rightful owner or decide to share and live without? My responses have been mixed thus far, depending on my charitable mood-- or my desperate need for a good nights sleep.

So, a different dilemma had surfaced as Alea's birthday approaches. Do I attempt to purchase a squishy pillow for her, or is "the pillow" THE pillow, given it's significant value within our world? She tends to like items from me -- like wearing my clothes as bed clothes and such. I have 7 days to figure out this world class issue- what will I do?

Spatial Relations

Today I went to the movie house with my daughter and two nieces. We had a great time and saw a quality movie: Kit Kittridge: An American Girl. After the movie, the girls made a pit stop as I waited patiently in the lobby. I chose a spot right in the middle of the foyer- not many were around and I had the lobby to myself mostly. I could people watch as folks came and went- always interesting.

A family was leaving the theater and had an 8 year oldish child with them. Their trajectory path could connect with mine if I stayed put. The mother and father of the unit moved over some but the boy came within inches of me. It was no apparent big deal to him, but it did strike me as an odd choice. Now you could ask why I did not move in this case but the reality was that there was a very big lobby and I was just taking up 2 feet of space- with no one else around- so I felt it was OK to stand my ground.

But it was more interesting for me to ponder the concept of spacial relations as it relates to children. I really thought it was a phenomenon only with my children. I am forever coaching and correcting them as we travel isles within grocery stores. It is like they don't know folks get uncomfortable when you get close to them. I say things like, "Notice that someone is near you and move out of their way.......Did you see that man? He had to wait for you to move in order to look at the canned goods............Leave room for others to pass you.....etc.".

In my own kitchen, while we are cooking or doing dishes, it is not unusual for a child to wedge themselves between me and the cupboard to get a dish or cup. All without an "excuse me". I wonder if they think we are ghosts, either that, or objects that are easily moved to get to the real target.

I know my kids are courteous, use polite language, say thank you and ask for things on most occasions appropriately, but this is an area they seem to have less couth. How can I teach them to respect others' space. Mini lectures so far have not worked in shedding light on the subject . Any advice out there? Anyone else have this "problem"?

The Plain and Simple Truth

When asked what kind of birthday cake Quinn wanted he simply replied, "croissants". So we purchased them from the authority on french cuisine: LeChatelaine. During a prior visit to this fine restaurant, Frank and I decided to treat the kids to a fancy dessert. Quinn opted for a croissant rather than the fancy stuff. He waited patiently for 10 minutes or so as we all chomped (they did not have any in the display case and were kind enough to bake some special at Quinn's request).

When his croissant fresh from the oven was delivered, the other kids drooled at the sight of it--tarts and cookies in the shape of mice were not cutting it anymore. A chorus of "shouldn't Quinn share?" and "I wish we would have gotten that!" dampened the ambiance of luxury at our table. It was then that I made a mental note that decadence can come in very plain and simple packages.

So when I asked Quinn what he wanted for his birthday dinner this year, his easy answer was perogies and croissants-- I went with the flow and it was a beautiful thing. So, tonight our menu included tempura shrimp, perogies, fresh salad with tomatoes from the garden, followed by croissants and ice cream. Good stuff. Smiles and chomping noises were had all around.

Note: 12 candles are hard to place on a croissant.

Literally

I have come to realize that my kids are very literal about things. It has been fun to test this theory out. I have two instances recently that have proved this to be true. The other day, I encouraged the kids to go to the dining room table because there were cookies "with their name written all over them". They came back saying, that none of the cookies had names on them. I then said, "Well, I guess we can't eat them then.....".





On another occasion, I was warning Alea that she should do what I was asking her to and that if she didn't do it I would know because I have eyes in the back of my head. She first looked concerned and moved toward my head and then decided to test my abilities by asking, "Ok then, if you have eyes on the back of your head, what is outside this window?" I replied, "A tree". I was correct. A quizzical look followed. Yes, I am amazing, just give in to that thought........