So, yesterday, Kye got out of the car to go to school and I said, "Your dad will be picking you up today." He looked at me with dismay and said in a very whiny, blame induced voice, "You always say stuff that I already know!". And then he was off...traveling up the sidewalk, entering the school.
This small but significant interaction gave me a window into my world. And, if you can hang in there, I will share with you one of the major dilemmas I have and continue to work on.
Some back thoughts about this situation is that I realized that Kye was tired. He did not get enough sleep. He was downright grumpy. And, that probably had nothing to do with me. It is a blessing to "know" these kind of things-- otherwise I could spend significant time wondering if I am somehow ruining his life by "telling him stuff".
Let's face it, there are times when people blame you when you are not to blame. The trickiest thing is not getting locked into a desire to hear them out or fall into an endless examination of your conscious.
What is difficult for me is that I take people's criticism as a gift and in their giving, it suggests that I am approachable and that I can grow from their gift. Truth be told though, we need to not take all criticism as a golden nugget. In fact, sometimes it suits us best to barely let the "feedback" filter in.
I am reading a book called, The Law of the Garbage Truck by David J. Pollay. This book talks about the garbage trucks we encounter in our lives--people dumping on us, what we can do about them and how not to become one.
Here are the commitments he suggests:
1. Do let garbage trucks pass you by.
2. Do let your own garbage trucks pass you by.
3. Do avoid becoming someone else's garbage truck.
4. Do help the garbage trucks you can.
5. Do honor our no garbage trucks! Pledge.
6. Do live in the gratitude cycle and live free of the garbage cycle.
7. Do declare your life a no garbage trucks! Zone.
8. Do declare your work a no garbage trucks! Zone.
You can take the pledge or learn more about garbage trucks here.
From this point I am hoping to define, early on, whether some one's attitude or feedback is worth my energy reserves.