Last Wednesday, I was at a massage appointment with a masseuse who had the strongest hands I have ever met. You may be asking yourself, how can a temporarily unemployed woman afford such fancies? Well, when I was employed, I joined Massage Envy to get cheaper massages- one per month. This was a commitment to myself after my doctor suggested that I have tendinitis in my back that could be resolved through a weekly massage. That was not doable financially so I compromised by purchasing one massage a month. But the kicker was that I banked up 4 massages that I did not use before I heard I was going to be laid off. Given that, I have been enjoying the opportunity while I have been off (luckiest- unlucky person I know).
Anyway, this woman, Jessica is petite and athletic-- she is shorter than me and surprisingly strong. As I was laying on the table concentrating on relaxing, she dug deep into my flesh, moved my muscles --stretching, pushing on trigger points. I consciously reminded myself to breathe and envisioned the muscles releasing.
I was curious about her style so I asked a few questions: "When you get a massage do you like deep tissue work? She said yes and that if a person is too gentle it does not feel like anything is happening. I agreed. There have been times when I have gotten the most gentle massage but my back did not feel any better. I then asked, "You have the strongest touch I have experienced in professional or personal massage. Do you ever have someone that resists your touch or has expressed fear about you moving them?" She said that she had and indicated that as long as the person seeks to maintain control, they will never feel release.
I laid there thinking about that. How many times do we work to control situations instead of relaxing into them, seeing where they lead or letting others lead?
Letting go of control would require us to have faith. We would need to let go of our worries and let her do the work. We may have to experience some pain to get to a healthier place-- all the while visualizing the healing that is possible.
Control is often a product of fear. We try to make our worlds make sense, keep things safe, hold onto our worry because it is more comfortable than really trying something new or different or trusting someone else. Although, at times control can make things more unsafe; may increase the possibility of injury. Control in a mental sense can often keep the pot stirred triggering others, compelling them to vie for control-- creating a lose/lose situation.
I can see this as a metaphor within the relationship with God. Do we allow him to heal us? Do we acknowledge and allow him to do his work within us or do we resist or fear too much to reap the benefits of that relationship? Do we hold onto our worries, let our fear rule us, so much that we cannot focus, cannot choose health, ultimately experiencing release?
More and more I am realizing life is about how we do things. Happiness, healing, connection with our Source, etc is in the little things. I have come a long way, but I have so much further to go. Can I have faith and trust? Still more to ponder.
I will get that chance tomorrow as I lay on the massage table with my last massage (use it or lose it!) I choose to use it!